Forty seven.

I am at peace with it. Happy to be here. In relatively good health. Kids are great and all of them in high school now. Life is full. I am content. Career is on fire and getting hotter.

It is a day of gratitude for me.

I think about all of the things I COULD be doing today. Looking at myself in the mirror and cursing the ides of time - not so many wrinkles as I have a blessed plump face that accompanies 15 excess pounds. I drop that and I will surely start see some! (yet when I film anything or get my picture taken I immediately think  my face is too heavy). It is a trade off. Time is the artist painting random splotches of age spots all over my face and hands - time and estrogen pills to control hot flashes.  The dark circles under my eyes are darker. The furrows in my forehead more prevalent. Grays camouflaged by a talented hair colorist. Mottled, pale face highlighted by tan in a packet, Philosophy skin care and Bare Escentuals.  Cellulite … well ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Andy would rather I did not wear make-up. They airbrush us for TV and it is layers of stuff that leave a black ring in the bathtub. He cannot wait until I wash it off. THAT is love. My last relationship would not look at me without make-up. I had to sleep in it and fix it in the morning. What a toad. I like this me better!

Now, about the “Giblet neck…” UGH. I cornered Dr. Denese in the green room a few weeks ago and asked which of her products might give me back the firmness in the neck region. She looked at me “Dahling, you have firm, young skin. The tendons are getting loose. You need to get injections of botox in your neck.”

One word back to her - “Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Bye bye arms are back. I had to stop training with the toned and petite Edna because of the kidney stones and the budget. I can wave and potentially take flight again. Bat wings. Note I never wear sleeveless on the air! Belly is a wiggle that matches the backside. Legs are pale as ghosts because I do not want to lay out in the sun and get any more moles. Ditto on the rest of me. I slathered on the faux stuff this a.m. and I am icky and sticky and blotchy and the only thing tan on me now are the palms of my hands.

Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

47 … I will not focus on the natural fall-aparts. I will walk my 20,000 steps today (yes, I do that. I have a pedometer I wear all day!) That requires a walk of 40 minutes in the morning and an additional hour at night, plus all day running around all day. Feels good.

Today I will focus on the internal virtues and the blessings of friends who call and remember my day. And our dear friend, John, who died a few days ago at age 55 from a stroke. One minute we are laughing with him and applauding his recovery and the next he is ashes in a box.

There are never any guarantees for another birthday.

Today I might allow myself my annual birthday treat - that would be a double whopper with cheese and it’s mighty 1600 fat packed calories - might not because I had an amazing birthday surprise out last night with Andy who planned the night out and denied all of it. We had roasted beet and goat cheese salad, smoked trout, oysters on the half shell, cod, english pea pasta and 3 desserts - chocolate souffle, pineapple sorbet with coconut tapioca pudding and macadamia nut brittle and black pepper ice cream over toasted pound cake with fresh berries. Burp.

It all looks lovely on my buns today!!!

For my birthdaypresent Andy is taking me on a champagne hot air balloon ride this fall when the leaves are changing. Should be interesting given I am terrified of heights. I cannot get up on a ladder without getting dizzy.

Stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mlk